Create more engaging videos with simple, actionable scriptwriting tips.

Last year, I made a pretty wild claim.

I said that my end-screen call-to-action (CTA) formula could boost your end-screen click-through rate (CTR) by as much as 3-4x.

It turns out I was wrong.

Today, I found out that when Jay Clouse took my advice…

...his end-screen CTR increased by 5x:

"This ONE change made a huge difference for our channel…

‍@GeorgeBlackman_ gave us the secret to improving the end screen click rate on our videos.

After implementing this, our end screen click rate went from ~3% in our videos up to 15%+ for some videos."

‍Need a refresher on why this matters for your channel? Check out my original article here.

Can we take this further?

I’ve had a lot of people asking how to apply this formula to a different type of CTA.

One where, instead of promoting another video, you're encouraging the viewer to sign up to or download something.

It could be a free resource, a template pack, or even a paid course.

These types of CTA usually occur mid-video, rather than at the end.

So, my question is this:

Can the same CTA formula be used halfway through a video to promote products and services, as it can to promote another video?

To find out, let’s talk about the subtle difference between an end-of-video CTA (”End-CTA”) and a mid-video CTA (”Mid-CTA”) so you can drive more downloads of your products and services.

(Worth noting, I’m not talking about integrating paid sponsorships here. I may do in future, but the number of variables involved in a sponsorship makes it tricky to distil into a simple formula.)

(1/3) Recap

For an End-CTA, this is the formula I use:

• Link - refer back to something covered in the video.
• Curiosity - open a new curiosity gap around that topic.
• Promise/CTA - outline the transformation they’ll experience by clicking your next video and closing that curiosity gap.

So, let's adapt this to create a Mid-CTA…

(2/3) Theory

The biggest difference between an End-CTA and a Mid-CTA is the level of subtlety we can apply.

During an End-CTA, we’re being super subtle.

Because, when well-executed, the viewer thinks we’re simply setting up the next talking point of the video.

Yes, they have to click to keep watching…

But we create the effect that it’s all part of the same information flow.

During a Mid-CTA, there’s no escaping the inevitable “plug”.

One way or another, you're going to have to tell them to “download my thing”.

This feels different for the viewer because we can’t apply the same level of subtlety.

So, to combat the “ick” they (or we) get from the plug, we need to:

1. Keep it brief.
2. Illustrate clear benefits to the audience.

With that in mind, here’s how I think about adapting the formula for a Mid-CTA:

LINK becomes “TRANSITION”.

Rather than calling back to something else that happened earlier, the information is integrated in a way that would still make sense even if the "Plug" (see below) was removed.

Check out this example from Pick Up Limes. You wouldn’t know it in isolation, but this is actually the start of her Mid-CTA…

"So I just checked and this soup is super nutritious… I think because of the legumes and all the different greens in there. There's over 25 g of protein and over 7 G of iron per serving…"

CURIOSITY becomes “PLUG”:

There’s no escaping it: you’re gonna have to straight-up say what the product/service is.

But think about it from an audience-first perspective - what do they want and why does your thing make it easier?

Pick Up Limes continues as such...

"…and this is also going to be a shameless plug for our app. But if you are interested in more high-iron and high-protein recipes, we've got a filter for that!"

PROMISE becomes “DETAIL”:

Briefly provide additional information for the viewer.

That could mean listing a couple of additional benefits of your product, or getting them excited with the promise of a free trial.

Pick Up Limes concludes...

"If you want to try out one week for free check out the link in the description box below."

So, thats... Transition > Plug > Detail

Here's another example from Bass Buzz, this time without interruption:

"You just start one scale note below, and then bask maniacally in the glory of your superior theoretical knowledge.

​

[Transition] If you don't have the theory chops to bask maniacally and know the right scale…

​

[Plug]…maybe it's time to take my Beginner to Badass course where I'll cover all this essential theory in a way you can actually understand…

​

[Detail]…plus everything else you're working in this exercise, including muting, accuracy and basic slap technique."

(3/3) Experiment

So, here’s our formula:

• Transition - subtly set up the reason the audience might need your product.
• Plug - tell them what it is and be explicit about the benefits.
• Detail - provide any extra info (and get out of there!)

But remember... the audience will be on to you almost immediately.

The moment you reach the "Plug", you start a ticking timer in the viewer's mind.

While you can take your time with an End-CTA, carefully widening the curiosity gap and getting them excited for the next video...

...the Mid-CTA needs to be snappy.

You haven't delivered the Grand Payoff yet, so don't spend more than 10-15s promoting your product.

‍

If you promote your own products/services inside your content, I’d love you to try this:

1. Record your average conversion rate across the last 3-5 videos.
2. Implement this formula.
3. Compare conversions over the following 3-5 videos.

That's all for this week!

If you have any questions, you can always reply :)

Speak soon,
George 👋

A lot of people ask me what to charge for scriptwriting.

(Or, how much to pay a scriptwriter.)

So, I went back through a bunch of invoices I’ve sent to clients in the last 2 years.

And I noticed some patterns which I think you’ll find useful (or at least interesting), whether you’re trying to figure out what to charge, or what to pay.

But before we get into it...

Want us to review your script?

My small team will provide detailed notes (and video feedback) from a structural and visual standpoint, including recommendations for...

The hook, use of B-Roll, storytelling, pacing, CTA, and more.

And, while I'm training them up... I'll actually be doing the reviews myself.

So, for a limited time, you'll get a personal review from me at a reduced price!

Learn More!

​

So, let's talk script pricing...

The single biggest factor that determined what I could charge was actually the client’s level of YouTube experience.

But, interestingly, it was not a linear pattern.

In fact, hitting the highest rates ($1000+) was only really possible when dealing with clients who had EITHER very low or very high experience.

Those with middling experience, or whose channels were not yet making life-changing sums of money were (obviously) inclined to pay less.

Taking 10 real scripts as our data points, here’s the spread:

​
Let’s explore the different “clusters” so you can understand more about who these channels are, what they want, and why these were the rates we agreed on.

1/ Low Experience, High Cash

These are almost always businesses.

They have low YouTube experience, but plenty of cash.

They’re treating YouTube as a funnel for their products and services, so aren’t often “passionate” about the platform.

They just want someone to kickstart / maintain their YouTube presence.

Because YouTube is top-of-funnel for their business, the ROI from hiring a writer is high.

If their flagship product (e.g. course, software, etc) sells for $200 and they pay a writer $1000, the video only needs to convert 5 customers in its lifetime to make a return.

Remember - the "value" of a script changes based on the goals of the YouTuber. When negotiating, always think about what would make the deal a “win” for both writer and YouTuber.

2/ Some Experience, Some Cash

Here, we’re often talking about channels with under 100k subscribers.

This can obviously vary wildly, but a common trait of this middle group is that YouTube, by itself, isn’t generating a shed-tonne of money.

Or, maybe their YouTube budget is being funnelled into something they consider higher ROI, like editing.

They aren’t necessarily looking for a writer to revolutionise their channel. They just need help maintaining upload consistency.

Naturally, these are the YouTubers to target when you’re just starting out as a writer, because you’re basically paid to plug into an existing machine, learn fast, and keep the wheels turning.

If you’re hiring a writer and paying $3-400, you shouldn’t expect them to make a tonne of strategic suggestions either. If they do, they’re probably above-averagely good, and you should consider paying them more.

3/ High Experience, High Cash

As we move towards more experienced channels, the budgets go back up.

Generally, we’re looking at channels between 100k-1m subscribers (and beyond).

Anecdotally (though I have no idea if this is representative), these channels are the most “creative” - their content is really fun to write.

They’re probably pulling in plenty of money through AdSense, sponsorships, and other parts of their ecosystem.

Ergo, they’re willing to pay for writers with a little more experience.

At this level, writers should be thinking strategically, pushing back on bad ideas, and making suggestions of their own.

Some experience working in clusters 1 and 2 is invaluable for landing clients like these.

4/ High Experience, High Expectations

Once we go upwards of $1200, these are usually (though not always) multi-million subscriber channels.

They absolutely aren’t looking for “plug and play” writers - they want strategic thinkers as well.

When I’ve worked with YouTubers in this camp, they’ll:

• Ask for insights from other clients I’ve worked with.
• Expect me to spend more time looking at retention graphs from videos I’ve written.
• Treat me like a major part of the team, and we’ll bounce ideas off each other.

Matching writers with YouTubers at this level usually comes through recommendation/headhunting.

Caveats

Let me just quickly cover my arse with a few things:

• I am generalising here - there’s more nuance to the conversation than I can fit in this piece.
• This is not the gospel on how much to charge. There are numerous factors when deciding how to price yourself / pay. I’m sure I have under/overcharged before.
• Some projects on this list took 1-2 days… others took more than a month 😬 There’s a lot we could unpack about each project, but that’s not the focus here.
• I started freelance life with an Ali Abdaal testimonial under my belt, so I was definitely able to raise prices faster than average. I’m sharing these figures to shine a light on how high the ceiling can go, not to dishearten you if you’re charging on the lower end (because that’s totally normal).

That's all for this week!

I don't often delve into this stuff, so let me know if it was helpful or not.

And, if you have any questions, you can always reply :)

Speak soon,
George 👋

When working with clients, it’s my job to extract relevant information from them to help me write the best script possible.

Because, unless I know certain details, there’s no way I’ll be able to write anything good.

So here’s a wacky thought.

What if we treated ourselves as our own client?

What if, rather than simply starting to write our next script based on intuition alone…

…we forced ourselves to lay out all the critical information we would want an external writer to know?

The problem is…

Most of us think we’ll hit the nail on the head instinctively, simply because we're experts in our subject.

But I've consistently found that the more time you spend thinking about the "macro" of your video, the easier it becomes to nail the "micro".

So, here are the most important questions I always ask a client before writing their script.

Going forwards, I encourage you to ask yourself the same things:

1/ Describe the video idea in a sentence

• This is a critical starting point.
• If you can’t summarise the video in a few words, the concept isn’t clear enough in your own mind yet.

2/ Who is your audience avatar?

• This underpins absolutely everything you do.
• It’s essential for figuring out the “framing” (more on this soon).
• It’ll affect every word of your script.

3/ Why haven’t you subscribed to Tintin Smith’s newsletter yet?

• Wait, sorry, how did this get in here? Well, seeing as we’re now talking about it…
• Tintin is Ali Abdaal’s Head of YouTube and writes an incredibly down-to-earth weekly newsletter for educational YouTubers. He's also just a supremely nice man 🥹

• You basically get the inside track on all the experiments he’s running on a 5m subscriber channel - to see what works, what doesn’t, and what he’s learning along the way.
• This isn’t sponsored btw - I just want to take every opportunity to highlight other useful resources for you on your YouTube journey, and I’ve really enjoyed Tintin’s stuff recently!

Check it out ⚡️ (It's free!)

4/ How do you want this video to be framed?

• This forces you to make your idea more specific.
• Doing so makes the idea more interesting, but it's also essential for making sure the video appeals to your audience.
• I wrote about this in way more detail here.

5/ Have you ideated any titles/thumbnails yet?

• You know the score...
• Don’t develop your idea before checking you can package it correctly, etc etc.
• (However, I do prefer to “frame” my idea before ideating titles + thumbnails.)

6/ By the end of the video, what do you want your audience to understand/feel?

• Based on the direction you choose (”framing”), what sort of transformation will the audience have undergone by the end?
• Is there a specific emotion you want to elicit? (This helps focus the type of language you use).

7/ How should the video be structured?

• Always create the structure before you write.
• e.g. 3-5 key points that NEED to be included.
• Knowing how you plan to link from one payoff to the next makes writing those transitions way easier.
• Check out the “payoffs” segment of this article I wrote for a bit more detail.

And, in case you’re a writer and you’d like to use this list with your clients, here’s a quick rundown of all the other questions I ask:

• Tell us about your editing capabilities. For example, do you create animations for your content, or film additional B-Roll? Or, is there anything you want to avoid, like stock footage?
• Ideally, how long would this video be? (Duration/word count/both).
• Would you like us to include any specific CTAs?
• Is there a sponsor? If so, please link their brief below and let us know if there's a specific way you'd like us to approach the integration. If not, we'll get creative!
• Any specific sources we should use to guide our research?
• Any other info we should know to help guide how we write this video?

6-figure product launch with a 10k audience

Alex Llull (The Steal Club) recently interviewed me about launching a 6-figure product with a small audience.

It might be an interesting listen if you use YouTube as a funnel for your business / paid products 👇

Watch Here 🎥

That's all for this week!

If you have any questions, drop me an email!

Speak soon,
George 👋

After only 3 months of operation, I have made the difficult decision to close my scriptwriting agency 😱

We had a long client waitlist, fantastic writers, and the proverbial "world at our feet".

So today, I sat down to discuss why I decided to close it...

...and why ignoring a few critical lessons back in January meant this project was probably always doomed to fail...

​Click to watch

If you applied to write for me...

...I want to thank you for taking the time to fill out the application.

My future plans involve mentoring promising scriptwriters so we can better meet the demand this industry has at the moment.

Still figuring out the details, but I may be in touch sometime in the future 🔮

If you're new here, you sure picked a drama-filled week to sign up!

Back to business as usual next week :)

In the meantime, I'm curious...

What's the biggest "failure" you're grateful for? 👀

Speak soon,
George 👋

Why So Curious? 🤡

Curiosity gaps are what keep people watching your videos.

But a lot of YouTubers aren’t using them correctly.

And, until you understand the problem, you’re constantly at risk of viewers clicking away to watch something else.

So let’s talk about how to set up a curiosity gap that doesn’t cause your audience to leave.

❌ The Common Approach

Read this paragraph and see if you can spot the problem:

"To understand which type of soil you need to grow tasty parsnips, we need to talk about soil density.
​

But I would never have understood soil density if I hadn’t heard of a principle that’s so important, gardeners who don’t understand it fail 90% of the time.
​

To show you that principle, I’m going to reveal what my gardening mentor told me in 1989."

At a glance, this might look ok.

The creator has opened a few curiosity gaps to keep me hooked.

Which is a good thing, no?

But the problem with this approach becomes obvious when you break down what’s actually being said:

“To understand A, we need to talk about B.
But I would never have understood B, if I hadn’t heard of the super important principle C.
So, to uncover principle C, I’m going to reveal critical thing D.”

Think of it like this…

The white line is the viewer’s “starting” level of understanding.

They want to understand mini-payoff “A”.

So we tell them they first need to understand “B”.

But before we’ve explained “B”, we introduce another curiosity gap, “C”, and so on.

This is “Curiosity Gap-ception”.

We’re creating curiosity gaps within curiosity gaps.

In our attempt to create a ton of curiosity for mini-payoff “A”…

...we’ve taken the audience down so many extra rabbit holes that they’ve probably forgotten what “A” was, and why it mattered.

And, when your audience forgets why what you’re saying matters…

They’ll get bored and leave.

✅ A Better Approach

It’s time to fix this.

Notice the difference between my last paragraph about parsnips, and this one…

"To understand which type of soil you need to grow tasty parsnips, we need to talk about soil density.
​[Explain important things about soil density]
​And now you know about soil density, it’s way easier to choose the right type of soil!
​But that raises an important question - how much soil do you actually need?
​To explain this, I’m going to reveal what my gardening mentor told me in 1989…"

These aren’t big changes.

In fact, a few sentences are exactly the same.

But the difference is that we’re no longer stuffing curiosity gaps within curiosity gaps within curiosity gaps:

“To understand A, we need to talk about B”
‍[Talks about B]
‍And now you’ve understood B, you understand A!
But that raises an important question, C.
So, to explain how we solve C, I’m going to reveal important thing D…"

This diagram makes it clear why our second approach is so critical…

We’re no longer getting bogged down in curiosity gaps just to reach a single mini-payoff (e.g. ”A”).

Instead, mini-payoffs ”A” and “C” are achieved by opening and closing individual curiosity gaps each time (”B” and “D”).

Every time we open a curiosity gap, it’s clear what we’re building towards.

We keep the viewer oriented within the overall structure of the video while giving them a regular "hit" with each mini-payoff.

Rather than drowning them in a ton of curiosity gaps that obscure the direction of travel...

...now, their understanding is constantly progressing.

This approach is far more likely to keep people watching.

Welp, I’m never saying “curiosity gap” again in my life. The words have lost all meaning.

Perhaps I’ll let AI write my newsletter from now on.

Speaking of which, you can check out my recent conversation with Gwilym and Jamie about how we’re using AI in our YouTube workflow.

(Side note - this was recorded a few months back, and I’m wayyy more on the AI hype-train these days. Don’t come for me🤖)

Watch Now!

That's all for this week!

Speak soon,
George 👋

‍

Repeat after me:

“My channel needs an audience avatar.”

“Audience avatars are not boring.”

“This is my favourite newsletter and also I love having an audience avatar.”

Remember, this week's advice won't work unless you actually say all this stuff. Out loud.  👀

Ok, let's rewind...

Recently, ​we discussed​ the "level of detail" in your scripts, and how important it is to identify whether your audience wants to learn, or simply to be inspired.

This week, we’re taking this topic to its extreme in pursuit of YouTube scripting stardom ⭐️

Because deciding on the “level of detail” is only the start.

And only when you focus on your entire audience avatar will your videos become truly engaging to the right people, to keep them coming back each time you upload.

So, this week:

1. I’ll show you how ChatGPT can help you re-write your hooks so they speak directly to your audience avatar.
2. I’ll give you my free audience avatar template, designed specifically for YouTubers, so you can create one for your channel in under 10 minutes.

Context

This is my audience avatar template (which I’ll give you for free at the end of this newsletter 😇)

It contains a bunch of questions that help us better understand who our audience is and what they want.

For this experiment, I filled it in twice and deliberately made each “avatar” completely different.

Arbitrarily, I imagined I was running a fitness channel, so I gave these avatars goals that related to the “fitness” niche.

• 💼 “Gwen” is career-focused and struggling to fit exercise into a busy work/home life.
• ✨ “Alex” is a bit more bohemian and struggles to balance sport with spontaneity.

Both avatars have a similar goal… but they are dissimilar in almost every other way.

Their personalities, the obstacles they face, the language they respond to, whether they’re logic or emotion-led… all very different.

And this is why having an audience avatar is so critical.

Your viewers might have the same goals as your competitor’s viewers…

But until you learn to talk to your audience using language they truly respond to, you’ll never properly engage them.

The Experiment (steal these prompts!)

First off, I screenshotted both avatars and fed the images to ChatGPT with the following prompt:

I’ve created an audience avatar for my YouTube channel on Notion. If I send you a screenshot of it, could you identify the textual information and simply write out the same information inside this thread? Don’t alter any of the information I provide.

If you don’t have GPT4 (which recognises text within images), you can simply type out the avatar information, one sub-heading at a time.

Once it had recognised the text, I followed up with:

I’ve also created an alternate audience avatar for my YouTube channel on Notion. If I screenshot that, could you repeat the process (identify the textual information and write it out inside this thread)?

ChatGPT had now logged the information about both avatars.

Next I gave it this prompt:

If I provide a "hook" - that is, the opening paragraph - of a YouTube video I'm going to write, could you adapt and re-write the hook twice? Once so it appeals directly to the information I’ve provided about [Gwen], and a second time so it appeals directly to the information I’ve provided about [Alex]?

Then, I wrote a generic hook relating to the “fitness niche”, using the “target, transformation, stakes” formula I’ve ​spoken about before​:

We all want to be healthier, but our busy lifestyles constantly stand in the way. At least, that's what we tell ourselves. In reality, there's just one thing preventing us from meeting our fitness goals... but it's not what you think. In this video, I'm going to reveal what it is, how it affects you, and the simple way to overcome it so you can get fitter and live longer.

Finally, I sent it my generic hook for an avatar-centric AI makeover…

Results

Granted, it’s far from perfect.

I’m no ChatGPT master, so I’d love the AI wunderkinds among you to suggest a more precise prompt that could have rooted out some of the dumb stuff (”Let’s face it, Alex!”).

But the contrast between these hooks is massive. Even at a glance, you can see differences in:

• Language
• Tone & delivery
• Stakes
• Obstacles to overcome

With a little effort, I edited the hooks:

Gwen

Balancing a fast-paced career and family life can easily cause our own health habits to slip. But what if I told you it’s not time, but something else that stands between you and your fitness goals? Today, I’ll unveil the real problem that's holding you back, and the practical, time-efficient strategy to overcome it, so you can live a long, healthy life without sacrificing time with your family or impacting your career.

Alex

'Being healthy' sounds easy in practice. But for those of us with a spontaneous lifestyle, finding time to work out and eat well doesn’t always happen. But what if I told you that your fitness goals don't have to clash with your free-and-easy approach to life? Because, in this video, I'll expose the one myth that's preventing you from staying fit, and the simple yet radical approach that’ll help you overcome it in the next 7 days.

The point is...

If you want your videos to stand out, you need to know who you’re talking to.

Writing every script to a “generic” viewer will never generate an engaged audience.

Your viewers want to feel seen when they watch your videos.

So pinch my free template below, do some digging on your audience, and start addressing them in your next script.

Get the template!

And, remember, you can always feed ChatGPT the information.

Use the prompts above to help convert a super generic hook into something tailored for your audience.

That's all for this week!

Speak soon,George 👋

‍

It’s great to be back!

In case you care where I’ve been, I was in Bulgaria doing this…

​

A word to the wise – don’t sit on your skis. My left ankle is still complaining.

Anyway, how are you?! Got anything YouTube-y that’s been on your mind? Don’t forget, you can always reply to these!

Now, to business…

Let me be totally transparent for a sec…

Most of my emails are titled something like:

“THE BIG, MASSIVE, STUPID, THING MOST YOUTUBERS IGNORE!”

Now, while I only ever share advice that I truly believe will help you write better scripts…

I am also trying to make you open the email with a dramatic subject line 😆

But, in the next 2 minutes, I want to touch on something I really do think most YouTubers ignore.

Like, really.

Because I ended up giving this advice to numerous creators this week – across consulting calls, script reviews, and on Slack when no one really asked.

To understand this advice, let’s look back at a conversation I had with Ed (Film Booth) when I was helping write a video for his second channel, Creator Booth.

It was a script about how Thomas Frank makes a tonne of money from Notion templates.

But, when I wrote draft #1, I failed to ask an absolutely critical question.

The result… a minor telling off from Mr Booth.

“I think it’s an inspirational story. I don’t think we want nitty-gritty details. Make it something that anyone can get no matter how little they know about business, but also feel inspired from.”

​

The thing is… I had included nitty-gritty details.

I’d spent ages mining Thomas’s tweets so I could reveal, down to the letter, his exact strategy for making so much money.

But not only was it a huge timesink… it wasn’t what Ed wanted.

And I hasten to add – this was not Ed simply being “picky”.

It was about the audience avatar he had in mind for his content, and my failure to tailor the level of detail to that avatar.

So… how much detail SHOULD I go into?

It’s a toughie.

Making that choice – about whether to go super in-depth in your script, or to aim for a more “inspiring”, surface-level video, may not be obvious.

Having run my agency for just over a month, we’ve occasionally run into this as a problem.

We, as a group of writers, are approaching everything from a YouTube-first mindset – that is, we want to create maximum engagement, sometimes at the expense of detail.

But, some clients (totally fairly) want a detail-oriented approach, even if that comes at the expense of high engagement and “broad appeal”.

To oversimplify things, these are your choices:

1. Go granular with detail, accept some viewers will get overwhelmed and click away, but know those who stay are more likely to follow your CTA. Or…
2. Go lighter on detail, focus on engagement to keep more people watching (which in turn causes YouTube to promote the content more), but accept each viewer may be less inclined to follow the CTA.

Neither approach is wrong.

But it IS important to choose what you want.

Are you trying to make your audience take action from your content, or simply to inspire them?

Because this will dramatically alter how you approach the script and who will want to watch your videos.

In a nutshell…

It’s the difference between making an “inspiring” video about Thomas Frank…

​

…and making a “detailed” video as Thomas Frank.

​

Boom. Stuck the landing. We’re back in the saddle.

Happy to be back writing this newsletter again!

So, if you have any questions about this topic, send ’em my way!

Speak soon,
George 👋

‍

Hey Reader,

Wouldn’t it be nice to know how likely your script is to engage your audience?

Well, most creators ignore a simple trick that will (mostly) help you do this.

If you’ve never tried it before, this’ll take 5 minutes to learn.

And, better still, it’ll become second nature by the time you’ve written another 1-2 scripts.

So, let’s fix an old script of mine…

Here’s an example of a script I wrote that failed to use this technique (and suffered as a result).

To start, let’s look at the hook:

“Sometimes sponsorships go completely wrong, so let’s talk about the three mistakes you can avoid and the three situations that are out of your control.”

Looks ok, right?

Now let’s throw in my secret weapon!

“CMD+SHIFT+H”

Or, to keep it pithy, “highlighting”.

If you can identify the purpose of what you’ve written by assigning it a colour, you’ll quickly notice what needs to change.

In this case, I want to highlight the key components of a hook.

You might have seen me talking about these key components in the past:

​

This is an educational video, so we’ll be using:

Target, transformation, stakes

Now, here’s the same hook again, with sentences highlighted to represent their intention:

“Sometimes sponsorships go completely wrong, so let’s talk about the three mistakes you can avoid and the three situations that are out of your control.”

Notice anything?

It turns out, this ok-looking hook contains almost none of those key components.

We’ve got some “stakes”, but pretty much no “target” or “transformation”.

• Ok, the target audience is implied because of the title, so maybe we don’t need to mention them explicitly.
• But the transformation – the very reason the audience should give us their time – is never mentioned.

This is bad news.

It’s not enough simply to say “we’ll talk about XYZ” – we need to explain how the audience will be transformed and why that matters.

Today, I’d have written the hook like this:

“Every creator wants to make predictable income for their business. But, even the most promising sponsorships can go completely wrong.

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So let’s talk about the three mistakes you’re probably making that are ruining your sponsorship strategy, and the three red flags to look out for from brands so you can continue to grow your business with consistent sponsorship revenue.”

You’ll also notice I carefully adapted the line about the situation being “out of your control”.

Saying something like that in your hook is totally self-defeating – it makes the audience feel like their situation is hopeless.

But this is nothing compared to my next example – reading it back, I want to hurl some deeply personal insults at 2022-George.

But, before I show you that (and how highlighting could have fixed it), check this out…

How to hire a YouTube team in 2024:

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The latest episode of our podcast, “Making It”, is out now!

This week, we discussed:

• How to outsource your YouTube editing, scripting, and thumbnail design.
• How to get the best out of your new talent.
• And, if you’re a YouTube freelancer, how to land clients.

(Jamie also has a small meltdown about the frightening potential of AI, but he’s fine now).

Watch on YouTube, or listen on Spotify + Apple Podcasts.

I did a very bad thing…

So, back to the script.

We’re now looking at the bit immediately after the hook.

Here, the colour coding we use needs to change slightly.

Because, after the hook, what’s important for your audience is this:

1. They need to know what they’re going to learn/see in the next 1-2 minutes.
2. They need to feel excited as you build towards that payoff.
3. You provide the payoff in a satisfying way.

Or, for the sake of coding it:

Setup, tension, payoff

Let’s look at “point #1” through this lens, and see how closely it adheres:

“The first thing you can control is how you conduct yourself when a brand is frustrating. Even if you want to tear your hair out, you have to stay graceful. Your aim is not just to sign a one-off sponsorship deal but to create a relationship with that brand so you can do multiple deals with them moving forward. You want them to hire you again and again and again, so there’s gotta be a little give and take.
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​You know how life sometimes throws unexpected curveballs at us? Well, that’s not gonna stop because you recently signed a sponsorship. Something might come up in your personal life which impacts your time and attention, or maybe your camera breaks or your computer shuts down on the day you were due to create the content…”

You might notice… not a single part of this segment contains any tension. And why?

Because I gave the payoff instantly.

This is particularly frustrating because the second paragraph is so clearly perfect as a set-up for the segment.

It appeals directly to the audience’s own experiences and empathises with them.

And this is ideal when you’re introducing a new segment – it’s easy to lose viewers between topics, so grabbing them emotionally is essential at the start of each new one.

However, by starting with the payoff, the explanation loses its tension, and the second paragraph (which could have been a great set-up) becomes pure waffle.

In under 1 minute, we’ve lost 43% of the audience.

Today, I’d have written it like this:

“You know how life sometimes throws unexpected curveballs at us? Well, remember, your contact at the brand is also a person dealing with a bunch of curveballs. But when creators forget this, it often leads to a problem that will cause them to damage their relationship with the brand – permanently.

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Yes, it can be frustrating when your contact isn’t replying. But don’t forget – they’re probably juggling a ton of different tasks, just like you. They might not have replied to you yet because they’re talking your pitch through with their boss, or maybe they’re just out the office for a few days!

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But the one thing that’s always inside your control is how you conduct yourself, even when a brand is frustrating. Spamming them with passive-aggressive emails is never a good look, and it’s gonna completely destroy your chances of working with them again.”

Of course, this isn’t a technique you have to use forever.

After a while, you’ll start to notice these problems intuitively, and the need to highlight things will reduce.

As with almost anything on YouTube, it’s about re-wiring your brain ever so slightly to help boost the potential of your videos.

See you soon!

Last thing before I go – I’m gonna be off for a couple of weeks.

Having finally launched my course (without really stopping over the holidays), I’m taking some time away.

Of course, I’ll still be checking my emails (I guess that’s my life now lol), but I won’t be writing my next newsletter until Feb.

Until then, wishing you all my best!

Speak soon,
George 👋

Having spent two years writing scripts for YouTubers ranging from around 30k subscribers to 3m+… I noticed something concerning.

Despite getting good results, working with nice people and having a lot of fun…

I was consistently stressed out 🤯

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Every time I sat down to write, I found myself overwhelmed by decision fatigue.

I just couldn’t figure out the best way to approach a new script.

I’d end up sort of “brute forcing” it every time, jumping between different parts of the script to try and tie it all together in a way that made sense.

I’d learned lots about retention from writing this newsletter, but I also struggled to identify whether each new script was watertight against the same retention-related mishaps from the time before.

In short, I didn’t have a system…

Introducing: The YouTube Scriptwriter’s Playbook

That’s why I’m incredibly excited to announce that my complete guide to systemized YouTube scriptwriting is out now 🚀

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​You see, having realised why I was feeling so overwhelmed while writing, I spent the last 6 months creating the system I always wished I’d had.

Now, my writing process looks like this:

1. Prepare – spend time thinking about my audience avatar in depth.
2. Brainstorm – conceive of every possible detail I might want to include in the script.
3. Structure – narrow these down and create a robust structure.
4. Write – connect A to B to C using the essential rules of progression.
5. Optimize – edit the draft with a set list of retention-related improvements.

I wanted to create a system that would not only improve the quality of my output, but that would also reduce the amount of stress I was feeling while writing.

Transparently, if you aren’t interested in making the investment in YTSP, I strongly encourage you to implement a system like this in your writing anyway!

You’ll undoubtedly experience both of these benefits.

But, if you are interested…

The YouTube Scriptwriter’s Playbook is waiting for you 🥳

While I’ve briefly outlined my system above, YTSP goes into a whole new level of detail…

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We’re talking:

• Checklists for optimizing retention, hooks, CTAs and more.
• Deep dives into the TWO essential elements that will make or break your video.
• Line-by-line script analyses and breakdowns.

And much, much more.

You’ll start with a half-formed video idea… and you’ll walk away with a fully written, retention-optimized script that’s ready to film 🎥

So, if you’re ready…

Unlock YTSP now!

(And don’t forget to use “LAUNCH10” at the checkout for 10% off any tier until this timer runs out 👇)

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And, if you fancy joining our community…

…not only will you benefit from 100+ other students swapping advice and sharing their scriptwriting wins…

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…but you’ll also get access to some exclusive guest sessions.

(I’ve lined up these heavy-hitters next week 👀 👇)

Ali Abdaal, January 16th

Dodford, January 17th

Ready to take the leap?

Then it’s time to join 100+ students already using YTSP to create more engaging videos for their channels…

😍

Just remember to use “LAUNCH10” at the checkout for 10% off any tier… you have until this hits 0! 👀

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Unlock YTSP now!

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Of course, if this isn’t for you right now, that’s absolutely no problem!

This newsletter is at the heart of my whole business, so I can’t thank you enough for supporting it ❤️

(I also appreciate you indulging me a little this week too… back to normal next week, I promise!)

And, if you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to ask me 🙂

Speak soon,
George 👋

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